I wasn't made to play homemaker, and that's okay.

Shayla Crawford

Posted on October 29 2017

I wasn't made to play homemaker, and that's okay.

Like many who grew up in a small town, I just thought I was suppose to get married and have babies. I grew up with this expectation that that's what you do. So at 19 years old that's what I did. Not long after, I realized that wasn't the life for me. I wasn't made to play homemaker, and that's okay.

Before I start, if you love to love, have all the babies and you met your soulmate at 18 then more power to you sister, but that wasn't the life for me.

I was a newly divorced mother with a child in my arms. I had a successful business but the only question anyone ever asked was if I would ever remarry or have anymore children. If I ever said, no I don't think so. The response would always be "why not?". What would they have rather me said? Oh sure I might marry 5 or 6 times. At the time I was just turning 21 years old. Why do I need to get married? Why would I need anymore children? As I get older the theme has continued. Year after year it's the same questions about boyfriends, marriage, husbands, babies, and happily ever after. Honestly, why do I even need a boyfriend at 25?

I've heard comments about people not wanting to be like me and never settle down. Which is infuriating and laughable all in the same breath. In our part of the world there is a outdated sense that you are considered an old maid if you're not married or in a serious relationship at 21. The best moments in my life have been since I turned 21. The moments I've experienced with my daughter, the moments I've experienced alone, and even the people I've met these past 4 years. When I take a step back I think of how differently my life may be if I were married. Would I have the courage to do all the things I've done in my life? If I were married I would have never gotten the opportunity to do most everything I've experienced.

Many women love a life with their families, cooking meals, keeping a clean house, and waiting on the moment their husband comes through the door. I wasn't made for that life, and that's okay.

Some women don't want that life and I am one of those. I don't need to search countless hours on Match.com or wait at home for a man to come and sweep me off my feet. I've dated, I've laughed, I've cried, I've loved and most of all I have lived. My daughter and I have a passport full of stamps and that's the life I dream of. Not every happily ever after involves Prince Charming. Sometimes you decide to be your own Knight in Shining armor.

As I end this I know you might be thinking a few things or you may have a few thoughts, "Will she really never get married?" Well, once I've made my own wealth, traveled the world, lived in different cities, and I've raised my daughter to be a strong independent woman. I might think about it! 

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  • Ellen Jones: January 22, 2018

    I really enjoyed reading this post as it really is inspiring. I grew up without a father- and my mother whom had me at age 18 raised me with her mother, so I was around all girls! This is a great story, not to mention your story! Keep up the positive vibes and good cheer. Thanks for your time and talent!

  • Ruby Waldroff: October 29, 2017

    Very well put. People think you HAVE to have someone in order to get through life. Most people i know in relationships and marriages are always complaining and wondering what the other one is doing. Every time i was in one all they did was interfere with my life and never once was an asset..just an ass. I can live without that. I was left with 4 kids to deal with on my own so who needs a man now? My 4th is almost grown and if anything he needs a positive male figure to straighten him out but the guys i kept running in to will just add to his problems. I definitely don’t need a man for me..pfft!

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